It breaks my heart when women say they can’t join my program to address their health challenges because their husband doesn’t support the decision. 💔
Now, I know sometimes this is just a way to say ‘thanks, but no thanks’, but when it really is true that their spouse doesn’t support the MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT of their lives…it really pains me.
I am in full support of couples discussing major life decisions and I think most spouses would support each other if they fully understood the reasoning behind it.
So often, I think this truly is a communication problem.
If you go to your spouse with something you are thinking about doing, but you bring it up in a way that conveys “I don’t know…it sounds good, but I’m not sure if I should do it. Do you?”
What do you think they’ll say? If YOU are uncertain, THEY will be uncertain (or worse).
If, however, you go to your spouse and say “I have really been struggling with ____ and I really want to take care of it. This is holding me back in from being able to ____ and I am really worried about ____ happening if I don’t get this under control. This is really important to me to address. I found a system/program/coach/etc that I really believe will help me achieve this and I want to go forward with it for ___ reasons.”
Certain. Confident. Clear.
Sell them on why this is the BEST decision ever.
They’re far more likely to be on board with this because they understand more clearly WHY this matters so much and why you believe this will help you accomplish the goal.
Be descriptive. Say the uncomfortable thing. Stand up for YOU and fight for what you want.
➡ What are you not able to do that you want to be able to do?
➡ What would you be able to STOP doing once this is accomplished?
➡ What scares you most about not addressing this health challenge?
➡ What will get worse if you DON’T address this challenge?
➡ How will your lives TOGETHER be better once this is accomplished?
➡ How can they best support you on this journey (and what do they currently do that makes it harder)?
If they love you, they’ll find a way to support you and your decision. Wouldn’t YOU if the roles were reversed?
But you have to be willing to support you and your decision first.